Hopes Diminish for Country & Western Band Trapped Inside Watermill

Another typically ridiculous band photo shoot turned to tragedy yesterday when ALL seven members of Country favourites Big Tom & The Mainliners found themselves trapped inside a watermill . The recently reformed ex-junkies from Castleblayney, who were due to release their first single in twenty-six years - “Under the Bridge (at Emyvale)“, had decided to pose for band photos inside what was believed to be a defunct watermill on the way home from picking stones outside Newbliss, County Monaghan. However a flash flood saw the mill kick into operation leaving the unfortunate band members trapped inside and oscillating like rashers in a washing machine. Following thirteen inches of overnight rain it is understood that the wildly unstable mill continues to trap the bedevilled septet and it is feared that the release of their new album - “What I Wouldn’t Give for a Skullfull of Dirty Maggots” will have to be postponed indefinitely. More worryingly, recent reports from the scene claim that enigmatic lead singer Big Tom has taken to scream poorly worded diatribes about reptilian overlords running the Revenue Commissioners and asking for soft boiled eggs sandwiches dipped in Omo washing powder. A spokesman from Newbliss Civil Defence confirmed to De Midlander that later today they will form a guard of honour around the mill in an attempt to levitate it to drier ground and save "the poor craters from harm".