Castro moves to Ireland to work for De Midlander

Fidel Castro has decided to move to Ireland to work as a full time reporter for De Midlander. As you can see from this picture, Castro is a big fan of De Midlander. Even during his recent 'illness', Castro always had a copy of De Midlander by his bed. Fed up with running his communist state, Castro decided to cut his stick and move Ireland. He said he was 'never much of a commie anyway' and now buys all his clobber from Champion Sports. He did mention to De Midlander that if he meets the Celtic Tiger in Ireland he will shoot it.

Castro landed his official state boat in Ballybunion last week and immediatly rang De Midlander for an interview.

Here we have a picture of Castro during the interview being asked if he reads the Irish Farmer's Journal or even the Offaly Independent:


























Castro has even decided to bring his wife to Ireland who has already managed to find a job with RTE's Prayer Before Bedtime:

Election Update: Masked Man Goes For Election in Laois-Offaly

A dynamic new contender has entered the election race in Brian Cowen's constituency of Laois-Offaly with promises of free turf for hens and bringing the Metro to the Blue Ball. John-Joe Paddy-Mary Mongan, also known locally as "The Big Briquette from Ballycumber", has arisen from the political wasteland of West Offaly with a manifesto for social reform based on "thinnin' turnips and lampin' rats".

"I am the future of politics in this Country and if I get elected I promise I will give every house in Offaly a free box of macaroon bars and twenty Carrolls. I'll outlaw milk and invite Albania to annex Westmeath. God I hate those eejits." With only weeks to go until the general election it is expected that the race in Laois-Offaly will go to the ropes. Our money is on Mongan though.